truth2heal

This week, I volunteered at a camp for single Afghan mothers and their children. Two things in particular caught my attention.

First, there were two children with early-onset autism in the camp. When I asked their mothers about their pregnancies and the children’s first year of life, both confirmed that their pregnancies were marked by fear and stress, and that they didn’t have much mental capacity—either during pregnancy or afterward—to bond with their babies. What would happen if we provided intensive care for traumatized pregnant women and help them—despite the trauma and stressful situation—to form a secure attachment with their babies, both prenatally and before the child can speak? Could this possibly prevent the development of autism or perhaps even other behavioral issues that may be a consequence of an attachment disorder?

Second, on the last evening, I observed a rather interesting phenomenon among the women. The friend who had organized the camp had lived in Afghanistan for several years herself and had brought along a box of costumes, including a few burqas and Taliban scarves and turbans. When she put on a burqa herself and joined the circle of dancing women, they weren’t triggered at all—instead, they burst out laughing. Afterward, they wanted to try on the burqas themselves, and some dressed up as Taliban, complete with turbans and fake beards. There was loud laughter, and they even engaged in role-playing. Two of the women came up to me to ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage, just as they themselves had likely experienced.

At first, I was surprised that the women seemed to enjoy dressing up so much, even with items they clearly associated with traumatic events. And then I realized what was happening here. This was play therapy for traumatized women. They had complete control over the play. Whether wearing a burqa or a Taliban turban, they could behave however they wanted. They could act silly or funny as Taliban members, but also powerful – just as they wished. Instead of feeling helpless, they were in control in this situation. Just as children often process traumatic experiences by reenacting them through play, this dressing up – as part of a relaxed, fun evening with plenty of music and dancing – was a way for these women to process what they had been through. Fascinating! This should be used much more often in group therapy! One woman came up to me later and said she hadn’t laughed so hard since the Taliban took over four years ago as she had that evening. How wonderful!